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| By Featured Writer: D West |
Are High School Reunions REALLY that Cool??
The following is an excerpt of conversation between myself and one of my closest friends from school concerning our high school reunion:
D: Hey man lemme ask you a question…if our reunion was this year, would you attend?
Jay: No, I’ll never attend a reunion, unless I become unbelievably rich. Then I will go there completely hammered and throw real money at peoples faces like a jackass…As though I’m slapping them with my success and the phrase that I’ll use when the money hits their faces will be, “taste some success!”
And thus I got the inspiration for this weeks topic.
The mediocrity of the 10 year high school reunion….
Look I can understand in the past how these functions would be warranted and even enjoyed but let me be honest, inside of this technological revolution we are so fortunate to be living in, where there is no excuse to lose touch with the 5% of people I actually care to stay in touch with, I really don’t want to see the other 95% of the people I went to school with again, nor do I give a fuck what they’re doing right now..
D: Hey man lemme ask you a question…if our reunion was this year, would you attend?
Jay: No, I’ll never attend a reunion, unless I become unbelievably rich. Then I will go there completely hammered and throw real money at peoples faces like a jackass…As though I’m slapping them with my success and the phrase that I’ll use when the money hits their faces will be, “taste some success!”
And thus I got the inspiration for this weeks topic.
The mediocrity of the 10 year high school reunion….
Look I can understand in the past how these functions would be warranted and even enjoyed but let me be honest, inside of this technological revolution we are so fortunate to be living in, where there is no excuse to lose touch with the 5% of people I actually care to stay in touch with, I really don’t want to see the other 95% of the people I went to school with again, nor do I give a fuck what they’re doing right now..
I mean really, I already know what they’re doing. They either went to school, got a job, got married, had some kids, made some bad choices, got divorced, or are just doing the same shit they were doing IN high school.
D: ”Oh hey random ass dude I went to school with…uhh what have you been up to?”
D: ”Oh hey random ass dude I went to school with…uhh what have you been up to?”
Random Ass Dude: “Oh well D, I’m glad you asked, I went to college and got a job…”
No fucking shit…I mean for Christ sake the conversations would remain the same throughout the entire evening…
No fucking shit…I mean for Christ sake the conversations would remain the same throughout the entire evening…
“Oh I married so and so and we have 3 beautiful kids…” “Oh I’m just finishing grad school with a masters in blah blah blah…”
Well guess what random ass girl I went to school with? I don’t really give a shit what your masters is in or when and who you married or how many bastard kids you squeezed out, I would literally rather gargle razor blades than have a fucking conversation with you, because the truth is I probably never actually liked you anyway.
Here’s the bottom line high school reunions are a dead pastime that have no place in todays advanced society, they’re simply a platform for the douchebag kids from high school who went on to become douchebag adults in the workforce to come back and be douchebags to each other and everyone else. The only people who its worth going back for are those guys who took all the shit in school from said douchebags who were able to become a success and want to say “fuck you” to those guys who gave them shit and the bitches who wouldn’t give them hand jobs…
Here’s the bottom line high school reunions are a dead pastime that have no place in todays advanced society, they’re simply a platform for the douchebag kids from high school who went on to become douchebag adults in the workforce to come back and be douchebags to each other and everyone else. The only people who its worth going back for are those guys who took all the shit in school from said douchebags who were able to become a success and want to say “fuck you” to those guys who gave them shit and the bitches who wouldn’t give them hand jobs…
So in conclusion if you were to ask me “D, if your reunion was this year, would you attend?” I’d have to swagger jack my good friend Jays answer and say “only if I was unbelievably rich, absolutely shitfaced, and ready to be a complete asshole…”
Taste some Success bitches!!!!!
Taste some Success bitches!!!!!
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